He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
