I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
