yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
