what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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