VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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