Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize