Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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