I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
