im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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