I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
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Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
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The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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