It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Text me some of your sweat
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
