The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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