Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im six kinds of drunk right now
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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