i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize