You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We are two peas in an std pod
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have aggressive nipples.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
