Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
