i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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