Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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