Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
