I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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