My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
