No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
