Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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