he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
