my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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