no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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