my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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