I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
