there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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