She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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