6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize