I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
