Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Panties = found
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
