we're blogging at a bar
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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