I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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