i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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