also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize