My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
