I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
