This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
