can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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