Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
