I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
