It's like God shit irony all over that family
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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