Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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