you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
