He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she peed on how many people?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
