Sry I called you an 8
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize