I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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