Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
