he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
