Plan B is the new Plan A
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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