You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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