conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
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Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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