Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
