Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
