she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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