no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
