when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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