you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
