if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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