He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
